14th Feb The Last One - 6

I was in love once or at least I thought I was. Yes, we are not together anymore. We barely talk, not because I have a problem in talking with her, but because she never started talking after she left. It is a little weird thing, the way we parted away, no fight, no long discussions, she just told me and I accepted. May be it was the long gap, could be my fickle mindedness. Actually, we hardly met each other, may be three or four times in those two to three years. Now they call these by a fancy abbreviation "LDR" Long Distance Relationships. Some are very sure that they don't work out. I differ in opinion. Whatever it was (infatuation, someone said) it fell apart. I am not a heartless, emotionless person, so Yes, I felt bad, sad, depressed, deeply disappointed. But thanks to that being my final semester at college, there were lot of things and people who kept me occupied and pulled me out of that pit. If you are wondering, what all I did after the separation, then there is nothing interesting there... I just used to blabber a lot, crib, like one hell of a crybaby, think and rethink about what went wrong and all this was probably for a week or so. Later, as I said before, I let myself get occupied with carroms, basketball, badminton, smriti, major project and of course treats, one last month of the final year after all.

It is not that I never thought about it again. Thoughts kept coming back to me. Thoughts like, may be she is just playing with me, may be it is all a bad joke. There were times when I wondered "what if she comes back now". But eventually all that faded away and I had truce with my thoughts. I am happy that I don't have to feel sad when I look back. I am thankful to her for not making it a mess. I am happy that we met and got close, for she, without doubt, was one of the best I knew caring, considerate, polite, sweet and of course lovable. As I moved on I fell in love again. and once again and once more. Just kidding. As I moved on I had my own new experiences and heard many other stories, of some who didn't express, some who got separated, some who found love again and of course of some who are with their first love. And with every single story or incident my definition for a good relationship took shape.

There is no perfect couple. The couple has to make themselves perfect for each other. You won't find someone custom made for you. As and when you know more and more about someone you like, you might find one or two things which you may not have expected. What matters is whether you are able to adjust with those one or two against the remaining awesomeness that attracted you towards him/her. No one will stay exactly as they are. Surroundings have influence, careers have influence, peers have influence, parents have influence, even movies have influence. Some minor modifications in personality keep happening. That is why it is important to communicate well, whatever feelings you have for the other one. At the same time, there are two vital things, Trust and Commitment. Love is one thing. If you can understand it in the right way, I could say I have fallen in love with many. There are certain things, behaviours, beliefs, philosophies (could be anything) which make them special and so you love them. But you wouldn't want to marry them all. How committed you feel inside yourself for the other person is what I believe truly defines it all. And that is why I believe that there is nothing like "LDRs do not work out". If the two have immense faith in each other and have a strong commitment then the two shall always be happy together. Issues are there. Issues are always there. It is upto people whether to split up and give up or to face those issues together until they are solved, to be happy ever after.

It is not just about people in love. The same is true for married couples. For that matter it is true for any relation what-so-ever, family relatives, friends, business partners. Adjustments are to be done now and then. We are humans and all of us have egos, sentiments, emotions, feelings. But we have also been bestowed with the power to use something called "brain". So let us use it at times when required and let us not jump to drastic decisions but think, apply some sense and then take the right step.

Cheers
Aditya

P.S. Closure