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Monday, May 14, 2012

14 May 2012 One Last Entry

I never thought it would be so difficult to leave college. Rewind my life by two months and there was this Aditya who used to think too much about every other thing happening around him, worried about his pending works, disappointed about his X-girl friend and sad that he would probably leave college and no one would remember him. He always carried a feeling that he couldn't make good friends in college. But then it all changed with the "chhoti chhoti khushiyaan" that the college gave him. Month of March got over with works from the aftermath of Baja, major project in SOLVE and a little running around for a few other things like department website, robotic arm etc. It all started with the initiative to celebrate Ugadi and Rama Navami like how we did two years ago. People came together and though there were a few disappointing things that happened, we pulled out a huge event on the occasion of Ugadi. Credits to all gults ... Special Credits to the Lord Rama and Lord Hanuman (read Manideep and Saketh).

Enter the One Last Month at NITK. Most of it was spent by people (final years) doing minor works in major projects, the major part was always kept for the end (there were exceptions though, not me of course). But even in the midst of that entire busy people spent time going for treats and treks with their buddies for four years. Writing testimonials was also one thing people spent most of their time on, at least till the site was closed. Then came club and branch farewells (mechies didn't get fresh and so they don't fare well I guess :P). Carroms in 5D wing with Atkins boy (now LSI) along with others in the last month was one of the best times I had at college.

I didn't know that my casual work on a particular website would influence my life so much. I would always be grateful to Ravi Teja (Gundu) for he was the one for whom I did it. Sometimes I felt I should have listened to him and joined PClub but then may be the things wouldn't have been the same if I had done that. It surprises me sometimes how a handful of people can change your life and bring you back from your own lost world. I found these few friends towards the end of days at college. I found those people to whom I can go back to, to share my joy and sorrow. They were with me from the day one in college; the only difference is I now know what difference they make. I have no regrets about anything in college. More or less everything was fun. There were a few disappointing things but then without anything bad how will you realise the importance of good. In the last week I met a few faculties who taught me and said a good-bye. 

Eyes filled with tears, tears rolling down cheeks, lips shivering with sobs, with an exchange of gifts and tokens of affection, with messages coming not just from a mobile but from the heart and soul of friends, I spent my last week at NITK sending off people. My Last Day at college was a little sad in the beginning because of the previous day's hang over (I just learnt the feeling of missing people). I went to a movie with a few friends, had an awesome dinner at food courts and was given a send off by all the remaining friends. After an extra-ordinary chase, which was successful thanks to the Dark Knight who pulled the chain to stop the train, we all started our journey back to our homes saying good-bye to Mangalore for the last time as students of NITK. At some point between all this (when even I was feeling sad and depressed) it occurred to me that this separation is nothing to be sad about. It shows us how much we love our friends. It tells us how much we want to be with them. Thank you guys for all these awesome days in college. A part of what I am today is because of you. Will definitely stay in touch ( read as "will kill you if you don't keep in touch"). I am already looking forward to the time we are going to meet next. Till then Have Fun. Take Care

Cheers 
Aditya

P.S. Last entry for the time being on Darling.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

31 Dec Good Bye

Man!!! I really am a moody fellow... Didn't feel like writing till today. Didn't get the mood to write amidst those loads of work. I had actually been quite busy unknowingly during the last two months with my major project review, end semester exams, SOLVE review after exams and of course BAJA. End result; I stayed back at college during my winter vacation. . Picked up quite a few things from here and there while working. The stay was pleasant except for the expenses :P. In a way it was fine, this is my last semester in the college, not that I have any nostalgic feelings about it.

@ Wing-mates : sorry guys couldn't come to party with you. not in the mood.
They just left after trying hard to persuade me to come and not staying alone at 12 O'clock. Thanks for your concern guys. But its fine with me this way for this day, may be I should say this year. The first day of the year does have a lot of importance. Doesn't it? But its just like another day. There will be 11 other firsts, 51,more or less, other Sundays and there are 30 other days in the month But no, nothing feels more special than 01.01. Celebrating it is our way of saying good-bye to the year that has passed by and saying welcome to the upcoming year. Saying thanks to the passing year for the joy it gave and trying to forget the grief it caused. Wishing that the coming year will bring us all prosperity and happiness and praying that the supernatural will prevent any sorrow from entering our peaceful lives.

This year made a huge difference in a lot of ways; taught me more about myself than any earlier years as I grew twenty, it made me think about things which I never used to think earlier. It became like a bridge between being a child and being a man with me in the center. It allowed me to think and choose whether I should remain ignorant and be a child or whether I should prepare myself to take up responsibilities and be a man. It sure told me that there are times to get serious and there are times when you should just let go. It made me think about my future, so many many times. It also gave me a taste of hatred so that I know how it feels like. It made me frightened. It made me feel useless at times. But every time it gave me someone to hang on to, someone to take support from, some one to come back for. I will stay with them and I wish for their health and happiness.  
 
Though little sad for what happened at the end, 
little nervous for what might happen at the next bend, 

I smile as I see the year leaving with a cheer,
Giving the warmth of hope as It whispers in my ear 
"Good-Bye Oh Dear ".

Wishing You all a Very Happy and Prosperous New Year 2012.

Aditya

Friday, October 28, 2011

27 Oct Diwali O leven

I know this is not really the best time to be writing a blog with so many works up my ***. But then if not now I may not get a chance memorialise this festive mood, this day, this night. Seriously I didn't enjoy a Diwali as good as this one in all the four years of my college. May be this is how every final year feels. To narrate things quickly I should start from the events of Tuesday, when there was a major power failure. It was around 6pm, wind started blowing at great speed. I was in the Engines lab where I was working on my RC Car, trying to build it for Velocity competition of Engineer @ my college and the Mech Events people were building the arena for the same event. The power went off, I packed up using light from my mobile and after the heavy rain stopped, got back to my room. The whole night there was no power. I couldn't sleep and it so happened that I played Hearts with 4 others until what was like 3 in the night (Phone Battery Drained Out by then). Food which we had ordered from GNPD (guru nanak punjabi dhaba) had come. I ate my portion (3 parathas) and fell asleep. 
Got up at 10 in the morning. Got ready, put my sim card in my old phone to find my cousin calling. She called to wish me on occasion of Diwali. From there I along with Vishwas went to some juniors' room to check out some trouble with their RC Car. Note he is the stud here not me :P . From there we went to see Proteus (water bot event) he stayed there as he is the organising committee, and I got back when I got to know that power had finally come back. I spent some time finishing up some work and in the evening I dressed up and went to temple. Talked to two of my aunts on phone while going to and coming from the temple. I was recollecting how I used to have fun on Diwali when I was younger. When I got back I saw a few candles lit up outside the doors of few people in my wing, and just then I had talked to Chaitanya who had asked me "Crackers? Anything". This year there were some stalls etc put up near Girls Block, I hadn't gone there and most of my wing-mates were busy with their own organising stuff. I dunno why it hit me but I felt this is the last year we are at college. I decided we should do something special. Me and Chaitu went to Surathkal purchased candles crackers and sweets for everyone. I had called people and told them to come to the wing back by 9. Once they all had come we lit up candles in the whole wing, ate sweets and then went downstairs and started bursting the crackers. The 'accha bacchas' Supreeth and Rohan enjoyed the sight from far. The naughty boys kept playing the usual pranks and together we had awesome fun. It was very short but it was very very sweet. I will never forget this Diwali when I showed how to launch rockets without using the bottle :P Gaurav, Nikhil, Sachin we will do it again next year. we guys may not be together but make sure you launch few rockets next year and give me a call to tell me about it. Vijay Kishore n Chaitanya the bomber-men. Sarvesh I want that pic of yours with that 'phuljhari' in hand.I got back to room and then teased and troubled a good old friend of mine who was with me for Diwali of the year before I joined college. I kept bugging her till 12 I guess and then finally left her to sleep in peace :P. 
Got up late again today morning and was running around the whole day with people from Bosch. After dinner wished in advance a fellow gult on his birthday. I then had a broken fb chat, thanks to my net connection, with another close friend (unexpectedly and luckily) and was full happy that I could. Meanwhile found some mega "kireek" happening with my dream company coming for campus recruitment (gotta get things clarified tomorrow I mean today). Vishwas gave a call to come for helping out some other juniors with an RC Car. Went there where he tuned their engine. Heard the small beast roaring. Got back. Then Vishwas Gaurav and me had some chat (not food) along with parathe (food). Felt great listening to them telling about how things were before I joined Baja, about how their seniors used to guide them (by leaving them to bulb , seriously nice way!!! ) and a lot more stuff like that.
All these above mentioned people, my school friends, my wing-mates, these people have now dozed off leaving me in deep thought about me myself me career my interests... But that doesn't exempt me from even a single work that is up my *** as I mentioned in the beginning of the blog. 
Do tell me how you spent your Diwali. Mail to me at haithisisaditya@gmail.com. Wow this one went Xtra Long
Cheers
Aditya

Thursday, October 6, 2011

6 Oct The Man who taught Caligraphy to Computer

 I use Mozilla Firefox for internet browsing but yesterday night at around 1:30 pm I, for unknown reasons, opened Safari (browser in Macintosh). I finished up my work and slept. I had been to temple in the morning with friends as it is Vijayadashami today. We had lunch together and I came back to my room about an hour ago. Yesterday after Aayudha Pooja in our Machine Shop I was given a packet of prasadam which contained an Apple fruit along with some other things. Only the apple was remaining. I took it out of the cover had a bite and opened my browser to find that the iLegend is no more. He underwent a surgery for pancreatic cancer, two years ago I guess. But it seems his health was still deteriorating. He was 56 as he died yesterday in Palo Alto, California.
Not very long ago I had come across the commencement talk by Steve Jobs at a Graduation at Stanford University. I liked it very much, was inspired by it and I had thought I will sure put it up in my blog. I had no idea then that it would be on this day after his death.  Some of you might have read it and I am sure you would have liked it. Those who haven't seen it earlier, I am pleased to give this to you here.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

RIP Steve Jobs

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Aditya